I keep trying to tell myself that we fill fix things and eventually it will be better. But.. to be honest, its not.. I don’t think it ever will be. I used to look at pictures of happy couples and think of you and how happy I am with you. Now I look at them and think why can’t I have that? I feel like you don’t love me anymore. Like a switch went off in my brain. You could say I love you a million times to me and im not sure it would mean anything. You have truly broken my heart. I wish I could stay with you but the only love I feel for you is what I felt before this weekend. I imagine myself cuddling with you and hugging you to make myself feel better but I feel like I am just grabbing you and then you w into mid air and then you aren’t there anymore. I wish that I could feel the same about you and we could be as happy as we were before but honestly, I dont think right now you have your priorities straight enough to have me. I will give you everything, but I need it back from you. And lately you have not even paid attention to me. Which breaks my heart all over again. I know I have to stop going back and forth but when I think of our good times its hard to know I am throwing that all away. I think our time has come
I can already tell how hard this is going to be for me.
I’m not sure how this is going to work or how I am supposed to do this.
I feel so different about you now.
I feel like there are blinders on my love for you right now. it sucks so much because I loved you so much and I know that you made a mistake and I know that you know you made a mistake as well. its just so hard to see past what you did. I know she meant nothing to you and I know it was a senseless mistake its just when I think of you its hard for me to think of us the way we were before. Its still so hard for me to believe that the one person in the world who I look to for everything would betray me like this. I wonder what I did to deserve this. I just cant believe I was betrayed so hard. im not sure I can go through with this with you….. im trying so hard for you but I just cant do it. I love you so much and im so sorry I cant tell you this to your face and I know I keep going back and forth but im not sure how I am supposed to do this. I love you so much and I need your love and comfort but I cant stay with you because im afraid I will never find someone like you again. I just cant stay with you. I love you so much I love you so much I love you with my whole mind and body but I cannot do this im so sorry